De Hamer en de Beitel

Recently, I began reading the study Guide to the book by Jerry Bridges, 'Growing in Godliness' where in the first chapter I realized that i have slipped into the 'good day bad day' type of psychology. I wake up in the morning early, and things go right, and I feel that God has blessed me in that day. Then the next day I sleep in late, am lazy and sleepy all day and fall into traps of temptation and sin, and then I feel like I had a bad day. But that's not the point.

Somehow, even though I knew it in my head, I did not understand the gospel of Christ is not just a one-time thing that saved me one day long ago. It is a daily process. God doesn't rate me on my daily achievements, but on his sacrifice for me. As Bridges said 'We need to preach the Gospel to ourselves every day.' My very best day of spiritual refinement and a day I feel was excellent in the ways of holiness, is not good enough for it to be a day where I didn't need God's grace to purify my sin, and the worst day of disgusting sin in thought word and deed is not so bad that the grace and blood of Jesus cannot cover all and grant me forgiveness. "Who am I that the lord of all the earth would choose to know my name, would choose to feel my hurt. Not because of who I am, But because of what you've done. Not because of what I've done, But because of who you are." I can remember thinking to myself 'I wish I could be free of this sin, I wish I could be like that publican in the parable of Jesus and cry 'Have mercy on me, a sinner!'. I felt that I could not, as I had been saved once, it was now up to me to make my life pure and holy and glorifying to God. But is that not the statue taking the chisel and hammer in his own hand and sculpting himself and saying, 'This glorifies my maker.' It only is for our own glory, as He did not intend his creations to make themselves.

It reminds me of a child whose picture is being painted by a very famous portraitist, who takes the time to create a beautiful rendering of the child - then the child impatient with the timing, runs over and taking a rough brush in his hand dips it in paint and finishes the portrait with two smears for eyes, and a streak which he calls the mouth, then says 'Done' and thinks he has done some great good and help to the venerable painter. But we all know that as such the painting has been ruined and leaves the viewer wondering what went wrong in the process of it creation. Such is it with us who attempt to take the brush in our own hand, we end up with a stick figured cartoon that we claim 'glorifies God' rather than the moving beauty of a painting created by a master. I must learn to surrender the chisel and hammer, and to say - Lord I am yours do with me as you will, and the verse from Philippians 2:13 'for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose.' and great things will be done, that from a lump of useless and faulty clay, a great and beautiful sculpture might be formed to the glory of our great Artist. 'Nothing in my hands i bring, simply to thy cross I cling.' Release those things you hope for, my soul, and trust in God, not those worldly hopes for future happiness, such and such a friend and this particular girlfriend, or whatever else you are trusting in to create a beautiful painting out of your life, 'trust in God, and he will supply your every need.'